We’ve got a big problem in this country with intellectual honesty. After all, 46% of Americans still believe that God created man in the past 10,000 years. Any educated person accepts that the earth is not flat, that there is no tortoise carrying the world on its shell, and that knowing a lot about plants makes someone a botanist, not a witch. I’m not picking on religion – I’m simply showcasing a belief that seems childish to anyone willing to think critically, yet many Americans hold.
Equally stupid are our views regarding sex. Everyone will agree that sex is pervasive in our culture. Every magazine at every super market checkout line advises women on “how to spice up their sex life” or, “how to make him go crazy.” Conservative news networks feature scantily clad, big busted reporters with low IQs. Attractive people get better job offers. STD rates are on the rise, especially in conservative states. Divorce rates are still increasing.
The evidence says that sex is happening all the time. One would assume by looking at the most recent Cosmopolitan cover that sex is all women ever think about. 30% of all internet traffic is porn, more than Netflix, Twitter and Amazon combined. Yet, talking about sex openly and maturely is taboo. Over 50% of Americans watch porn once a month, yet only 29% consider it morally acceptable, and only 23% of women. Dating sites like OKCupid and Plenty Of Fish ban profiles with sexual content, even when there is no nudity. Craigslist is anonymous. Dating apps are anonymous. Sexual education programs in many states are severely lacking, focusing on an “abstinence” rather than educating people about sex.
Considering our remarkable cultural obsession with sex, it’s nothing short of incredible that practically no one talks about their sexual preferences and activities openly. It’s incredible that there are no non-objectified instructional sex programs on cable television. Unless it’s not, the goal of dating is generally sex, yet it’s considered immoral, rude and disgusting to come out and say it. For whatever reason, people are fine proclaiming absolutely idiotic beliefs about a myriad of political topics to the world, yet nearly no one has the balls to come out and tell a potential mate that they’d like to have sex with them straight out. Everything is a game – a complex weaving of clothes, perfume and conversational topics all directed at an end which is universally understood yet never put bluntly. We create so many facades portending greater meaning that are absolutely void of substance, simply so we can save ourselves the embarrassment of being caught speaking truthfully.
It shouldn’t have to be like this. We as a culture should be able to talk openly about sex. We should be able to look at sex as a natural act, and discuss it in a rational way. The only function of the clitoris is female genital stimulation. Other intelligent animals engage in recreational sex. In an ideal world, two people who are attracted to each other should be able to come right out and say, “I’m attracted to you, and I’m horny. Would you like to have sex? Do you have any STDs? Are you regularly tested?” Furthermore, they should be able to do it in front of their friends without fearing public disgrace. It’s time we stop with the euphemisms and misdirection and start viewing sex for what it is – something that we all do, that we all want, that we should be able to talk as naturally about as we would a pair of shoes.
Instead, “sex communities” are created that use code language like “swinging,” “tantric experience,” and “open love,” and meet in virtual secrecy. People flock to online services that promise intimate encounters yet more often simply charge a monthly fee to chat with bots and scam artists. Other sites cater to sex seekers as if sex is a perversion, designed using dark colors and using more code language that isolates people and makes them believe there is something perverted about them. Good people with open minded views about sex and intimacy are forced to either play the game or join the sex cults, because there is virtually no public forum that allows direct sexual language.
All of this has to be the biggest waste of time in human history. If we weren’t spending so much energy obfuscating pursuit of our sexual desires, we could spend more time doing useful things like…I dunno…replanting forests, finding cleaner energy sources, redesigning utility, energy and housing systems to be more efficient, banning pesticide use, limiting campaign contributions, etc. etc. In the time that we spend playing games to get into each others’ pants doing this ridiculous cave man’s mating dance, we could have simply fucked, had a meaningful conversation about something completely unrelated to sex, and spent time doing something worthwhile.
It’s about time that we stopped treating sex like a Ghetto that can only be stumbled into in secret, drunken revelry or puritanical union, and start acknowledging it as a part of adult life that can be discussed shamelessly.